So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize