I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
