im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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