Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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