So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
