we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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