Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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