I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
