so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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