i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
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Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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