He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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