You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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