upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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