in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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