I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
