The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
