even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
someone owes me an orgasm
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize