My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
oh god was she eating orange peels again
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
