I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
