What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
