so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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