Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
