It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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