he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
