so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
