So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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