I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
