I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize