i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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