The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He shit in the fireplace
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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