physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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