I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize