You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
