yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize