And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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