I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
