how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
