So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My hand turned me down
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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