Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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