Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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