I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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