Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
