I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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