At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
