If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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