I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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