I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
