We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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