I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
