from now on my penis is your penis
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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