I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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