Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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