My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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