The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
