Can i not drive my cunt home
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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