If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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