it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
