She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
