I smell stomach acid.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
