she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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