..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
