____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
