do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
