barbara walters just said penis...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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